You've taken that famous home pregnancy test, and guess what? It turned positive! You may even get visited by a doctor so that your pregnancy has been officially confirmed.
What to do now? At this time, women experience different emotions; happiness, excitement, and stress surround them all at once.
Of course, immediately after facing these feelings, a big question comes to the mind of all moms-to-be. That question is: how to tell him about my pregnancy?
You may already be trying to have a baby, or this pregnancy could be unplanned. How you share the big news of your pregnancy with him will be slightly different depending on which one is true.
The news of your pregnancy is huge, and its impact on your partner's life is also profound. So, you need to know the right timing and manner of informing him about your baby. Then, you can decide whether to keep the baby or not and under what conditions.
Do I Tell Him I'm Pregnant?
It depends on many things, but it's always best to let your partner know about the pregnancy. It is a must, except in some cases, which we'll explain below. We know that trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. So, if your relationship matters to you, it just feels right to let him know about it.
Suppose you and your partner have a good and sincere relationship and have been thinking about having children in the future. In that case, you can safely bring up this news with him.
Or, your relationship may be a good one. But you probably don't have any plans to have a baby right now. Then, preparing him in advance to give the news is good.
This requires a good understanding of the other party's mentality and emotions.
In the following scenarios, you must be more careful to share the news of your pregnancy with your partner:
- If you still don't know your partner very well (it's been only a couple of months),
- If you know he does not want you to have a child together (at least not now).
You should only avoid sharing the news of pregnancy with your partner when he is abusive and violent. You know that by telling this news, you may endanger your safety.
But except for this last case, in other instances, your partner has the right to know about this issue. Anyway, half of his DNA played a role in this. Usually, people or couples postpone the pregnancy announcement to friends and family. They typically choose to make it public after the first trimester of pregnancy.
That is when the risk of miscarriage has reached its minimum.
But your partner is different from friends and family and should know this from the beginning. Some women personally choose to hide such news from their partners. They either fear the other party's reaction or realize he does not agree to keep the child.
In that case, giving birth to a child means you and your baby will not have your partner's financial help and emotional support. He will not play a role in the life and future of your baby.
How to Tell Your Boyfriend Your Pregnant?
Let us continue the discussion by considering two situations: the announcement of planned pregnancy versus an unplanned pregnancy. First, we shall go by advice for announcing planned pregnancies:
Time and place of pregnancy announcement
The time of pregnancy announcement can vary between a few hours or days. It takes time for you as a pregnant woman to process all the emotions you feel when finding out about your pregnancy.
It is better to give yourself some time to process your feelings after seeing the positive results of the pregnancy test. The best way to announce this good news is to talk to the other person face to face. So, set a time when both of you are comfortable.
The place you consider to announce the news is also very important. Since this is related to you, a place like your home is an excellent choice to reveal the news. It provides you with the necessary privacy you need.
Prepare for your partner's reaction.
This moment is remarkable in life for both of you, and you can see his facial expression. Of course, men show different reactions to these situations. It may range from shock, excitement, keeping quiet, happiness, crying, sadness, and stress to anger.
You must prepare yourself for any reaction when telling him the news. If your partner doesn't show the ideal response you expected, don't take it personally and give him time.
He may want to be alone for a few moments or even go for a walk or a drive. Therefore, if his initial reaction was not what you expected, don't get disappointed.
Use creative and fun ideas to announce your pregnancy
There are many creative ideas out there. Open a website like Pinterest and search for fun and creative pregnancy announcement ideas. You can also let time pass until he discovers everything by himself. The choice between these methods depends on the depth and closeness of your relationship.
Announcing an Unplanned Pregnancy
Before breaking the news, first, think about some essential questions. These questions relate to your decisions regarding pregnancy and the future of your relationship with your partner.
Are you and the other person committed to each other?
Do you want to keep the baby and raise her anyway? Or, do you want the other person to fulfill his parental duties towards your baby, too?
For example, do you expect his involvement in financial aid and emotional support?
Finally, suppose you know you are not in a committed relationship and want to terminate the pregnancy. In that case, you may not need to tell that person anything.
Proper timing is very important
When your pregnancy isn't expected, be extra sensitive about when and where to announce the news. It is good to select the time when there is no exterior interruption.
Also, if you don't know how your partner will react or have concerns about your personal safety, bring a third person with you. Of course, that is so if you decide to tell him first.
Regarding the location, choose a place where you can handle the various range of emotions that he shows.
How will he react?
Men who are not committed to a relationship will generally show reactions such as denial, fear, anger, and rage. It depends on how that person views your relationship. You may know that the other person will react negatively.
Also, you may not know him well and be unaware of his emotional reactions to such news. In any case, think in advance of all possible responses and act accordingly.
Be honest and talk openly about the issue and your feelings. Let your partner speak and share his feelings, too. Each of you may want something different. Your relationship may end here, or on the contrary, events may turn out in a way that you did not expect.
What to do after announcing your pregnancy news?
Now is the time to talk and decide. As we said, if you and your partner agree on having a baby together, this will sound good news to them. But if this was an unplanned pregnancy, you still need to talk about the future of your relationship.
Because being in a relationship just for the sake of having a baby together is wrong. If you decide to end the pregnancy, you should know it will have emotional consequences, too.
Suppose you decide to raise your baby alone. In that case, it is good to know about every aspect of the issue, especially the possible legal ones.
Finally, if you think bringing up the pregnancy news with your partner is too confusing, ask for help from a therapist. You can even arrange a session for sharing the news with your partner in her presence.
It is difficult for many women to announce their pregnancy, especially if it is unplanned. This article examined both types of announcement situations in planned and surprise pregnancies.
Think about different aspects, such as the personal feelings you have. Also, consider choosing the right time and place to announce the news. There are big decisions you have to make after sharing the news.
You can always use the help of therapists to find the best way to announce pregnancy to your partner.