The Unspoken Truth of a Miscarriage
For many women, announcing a pregnancy is not only a very exciting moment -- but also a very vulnerable moment. As a mother or mother-to-be, you always want to expect the best, but there is always that concern at the back of your mind which is rooted from your desire to protect your baby.
It’s an unfortunate reality that about 10-20% of pregnancies bear the devastation of a miscarriage. As difficult as it is, it’s so important to start conversations surrounding this topic, as it’s a recurring situation for women everywhere, and we must end the stigma surrounding losing a child.
The first step to healing from a loss is to allow yourself to feel. Listening to other women speak out about their challenges and how they overcame heartbreak (or still going through it) will help you feel a sense of normality -- and it’ll also validate your emotions. Hearing about the following women who spoke out about their dramatic experiences may shed light on the fact that you are not alone mama, and you will get through this!
Image from Time Magazine
Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex revealed that she suffered from a miscarriage in July 2020. Though she has tried to stay private about her personal life, she wasn’t afraid to speak out about something that is so common, but not very talked about.
Her miscarriage was described as an “almost unbearable grief” as she was not expecting such a heartbreaking outcome. Her health was in ideal shape, however she knew something went wrong when she felt a sharp pain and fell to her knees while her current child, Archie was held close in her arms. She dropped to her knees and instantly knew, “as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.”
The inspirational 39-year old shared her story in pursuit of motivating everyone to ask those around them, “are you OK?” She expressed her understanding for the difficulties that everybody has faced in the year 2020, and that sometimes we all just need genuine concern from others by asking this simple question. She herself said that she had a huge appreciation for the journalist who asked her this question, expressing that so many mothers out there rarely hear others utter the words.
In dealing with this heartbreak with her husband, she realized that she was not alone in fighting this battle. As she was going through the pain of her loss, she learned that 10-20 out of 100 women go through the devastating events of a miscarriage.
Meghan used this experience as a way to reach out to other moms out there, letting them know that they are not alone and to reduce the stigma surrounding miscarriages. To read the words of Meghan Markle herself, you can read the article she wrote for The New York Times called “The Losses We Share.”
Image from Wall Street Journal
For Crissy Teigen, she was hit with devastating news one month after announcing her pregnancy, that she had lost her son. Complications occurred when she faced excessive bleeding and they were unable to give the baby the fluids he needed. They put up a strong fight with fluid bags and blood transfusion but nothing seemed to work.
It’s crazy to think how such a tragic event could actually turn out to be something that teaches you a positive lesson or ends up “saving” you. Crissy has expressed that this difficult time had actually been very transformative for her and led her to discover therapy and sobriety. This just goes to show that what doesn’t kill you, really does make you stronger. Crissy can really attest to that statement as she started the “path of feeling good about myself and feeling like a new person.”
Although this is a memory that many would like to never recollect, Crissy insisted to have photos taken of her and her husband, John Legend. She wanted to remember this moment along with the other good memories she shared with John, including their first kiss and their wedding day. She wanted to keep photos of this experience knowing it would bring comfort to those who have been through similar situations and she wrote, “I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.”
Image from nytimes
We see celebrities just like Beyonce, who really enjoy the luxuries in life. However, we sometimes forget that these world-known famous role models are just regular people under all that fame and glory, and they go through obstacles as well. Beyonce (being under the spotlight) has always tried to maintain some privacy, but completely changed course when she faced a miscarriage.
Beyonce expressed that she had faced a whole new reality stating, “I began to search for the deeper meaning when life began to teach me lessons I didn’t know I needed.” Her priorities completely shifted from winning awards and feeling accomplished, to having a fulfilling life with her family.
Beyonce was blessed to have a second chance at pregnancy and now has three beautiful and healthy children. Going through the challenges she did, she found a deeper purpose in life and learned to mother herself before she could be a mother to someone else.
Image from Elle
Shay Mitchell had her very own pregnancy series Almost Ready, titled “Keeping a Secret.” Her first pregnancy was completely unplanned, but that didn’t get in the way of her and her partner’s excitement. As she grew to love the idea of growing her family and welcoming a new baby, she suffered a miscarriage 14 weeks into her pregnancy, in the year 2018.
She, like many other women, never knew the extent of the commonality of miscarriages. She reported that she knew many friends who have gone through even harder journeys, but was completely blindsided when it happened to her.
Not only did Shay create this series to inspire women out there and let them know that they are not alone in their suffering. She also expressed her appreciation for those who had lifted her up in her darkest days. We love to see women support women! The support and love we show toward one another is extremely important on an everyday basis, let alone when one of us is going through a troubling time.
If there’s one common theme we see in these real life stories, it’s that we as women are strong! No matter the challenges we are faced with along our journey, we will rise above with the help of our family and loved ones.
It’s important to know that you are never alone, no matter what you may be dealing with. We want you to remember that you can fight through your suffering and you will continue a journey that will bring you happiness, love, and a new found purpose.